A point of not knowing....again!

A lot has gone on the last few weeks and I am to the point where I just do not know where to turn once again. For a while things were going great and life was what I wanted it to be. But we all know that it does not stay that way forever. Their are curve balls that you have to learn how to hit and knock out of the park. Though it sounds easy it really is not.

For Matt and I we have had hard times it seems since we first started dating. That may not be true but that surely is how it seems. We can never catch a break it seems as though things are not suppose to work in our favor. But no matter what we go through we support one another and we help each other through every situation.

I recently, well three months ago got a new job at the apartment complex where we live and i love it. Unit the other day I was making just enough to pay my rent and help with one extra bill, which I know does not sound like a lot but for me it is because I have never really been able to help like I have wanted to. A few days ago ,y boss called me in and said that theymade some schedule changes and that my hours had been cut in half where I only work 2 days a week. I didn't know what to do. How do I tell Matt I can no longer afford to pay rent by myself? I just didn't know how I was going to do it. Ifonally got brave and told him what happened. He was very understand yet angry at the same time and just told me that everything will work out and he just knows that it will. So it made me feel a little better.

The entire day I was so worried not knowing what to do. I think that we will be okay, yes, but what about other things? I was thinking about food and other bills as well. We seems to get behind and not know how we get that way. I just can't get behind again. we have big plans for next year and if anythin gets behind we are going to be some big trouble and have serious issues.

Though I know that we will be fine, we always are, it still worries me to think that now I can't do everything that I wanted to and needed to do to help Matt. Try to keep a positive outlook on everything is what everyone tells me to do but is it really that easy?