Things are weird for me right now. I am in a great place in my life but that doesn't mean there are no sticky situations. Work is crazy and sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and I feel like that would make me feel better but in reality it would just hurt really bad. We are now under new management because our old boss got let go :( So everything in the world has seemed so hectic.
School is going good but not as well as I would like it to be going. I just want to be done already. I do not understand a lot of things but I know with time and commitment I will know everything I need to when I get out of school. But it seems like the challenges NEVER end. School makes me stress and when I stress nothing good comes of it. It just makes me eat more and then I cry a lot which I wish I could control but I just can't .
Home. Home is home. I am so happy here even though sometimes it might not seems that way. I can say that I think Matt and I are doing ok but that is never for sure. Every time I think we are doing ok he finds something that he says has been wrong. So sometimes I don't want to tell people how we are doing because I don't want anyone to hear something different from him because he has been known like I said to tell people we aren't doing good when I have told someone we are doing great. Then I look like an idiot. Today I was very upset. He called his mom and talked to her and he vented to me a little bit but right in front of me its there on the phone with her and says "you know I can't talk to anyone else about this stuff" HELLO....what the hell am I here for? I love him to death but he doesn't know when to say things and when not to. But i don't want to say anything to him and make him feel bad or make him mad at me! I mean seriously! What the hell do I do. I don't talk to Matt about a lot of things because I am so afraid he is going to be mad and not want to talk to me. even if I need to vent I have to do it to someone else because he feels like the anger is coming out toward him! WTF its called venting. I am not taking anything out on him I am trying to talk about my day and get things off my chest. But I don't feel like I can do that with him about anything. But when I mention something about it he gets mad at me and says that he don't do anything like that. Sometime I just wish he would listen to what I have to say instead of making me feel like I am the smallest person in the world!
Now I am just going to go to bed.
